Toilet Humor

The bathroom: say what you will, it still remains the most inviting room in the house. More often than not anyway. It's that one room where you truly appreciate the sanctity of privacy, that one room where you're comfortable enough to sing like American Idol gone bad. My bathroom has also became a temporary home for the laptop, the only place from where it gets a decent signal from the neighbors' router. Contrary to my friends believing the bathroom to have become a squalid porn den, it's the only room in the house with internet. Thus me sitting on the toilet seat, lid down ofcourse, trying to type from a foot away.
The Pakistan Telecommunication Company Limited has decided to fuck itself with my DSL line. Like a man unable to come in terms with his erectile dysfunction (pun not intially intended), PTCL has refused to even admit there's a problem. So until complaint no. 135, 287 and 315 get sorted, I'll just have to keep using that annoying neighbor's bountiful internet. Yes, I just put in annoying so I wouldn't look so bad stealing a tax payer's internet.
But regardless of the presence of a computer noisily downloading torrents and alleged questionables, the bathroom still plays a versatile role in a young man's life. Some uses are as follows:

• It's that welcoming friend in the darkest and most desperate of times. Dark, as an expression.
• It's one of the best places to have a sandwich. It can be made airtight so the sandwich retains its delicious flavour and also has an electronic exhaust system for easy evacuation, should the aroma be not needed in an emergency.
• It's also the place where you can get your best reading done. Many a visits to my ghusl khana have prolonged to cover an entire chapter of the midterm syllabus. It's got quite the academic air about it. And wind.
• Talking to a girlfriend in the vicinity of hovering parents. Be wary of the all-revealing echo though.
• That last place to look for immediately needed stuff. My keys usually turn up by the sink.
• The perfect place to keep that secret pet.
• Appreciation of life. You don't know how good you have it until you defecate in a smelly hole in the ground.

It is, obviously, not restricted to these and it's interesting to think how other people would use their bathrooms in an non-obvious way. And while we're all not as innovative as the guy in Saw, it's seemingly hard not to be fascinated with this humble jack of all rooms.